I’ve been a list person for most of my life, whether it be for classwork, cleaning, or classifying living things through the practice of taxonomy. It provides an essential sensation of ecstasy for my Type-A, painfully-perfectionistic personality.

Living under the shadow of the coronavirus outbreak, I have prioritized the art of social distancing. What I quickly became aware of, though, is my inability to sit still after twenty minutes of doing nothing. My goldfish brain refuses to function in such circumstances. So, I am utilizing this week’s blog post to share my list of ten things to do while preventing the spread of COVID-19.

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Build Relationships!

If you happen to be living with at least one other person, as I am, then this could be the perfect opportunity to spend time with them. Just take a look at the photos below, joy is simply oozing out of my pores!

Art!

Creating visual art has long acted as a distressing technique. Oh, no! Don’t have physical materials? Don’t worry, use Microsoft Paint! Oh, no! Don’t have Microsoft Paint? Don’t worry, use Apple’s version: Paint X on the App Store!

Oh, no! Don’t have access to technology? Sweet Lord, what black magic sorcery are you using to read this post?

Alas, I have attempted to create my own visual art, too. One day it will go for a lot of money, I’m certain.

A few reflections are necessary:

1. Why don’t I have a cool lightning bolt shirt like that in real life?
2. I might need counseling because this image is significantly more threatening than I was intending it to be.
3. I accidentally sexualized coronavirus and that’s definitely a sin.
4. I, a mostly-sane adult, referred to myself as Little One.
5. COVID-19 is an alcoholic.
6. “Help.”

Clean!

Okay, so let’s say art isn’t your thing (clearly, not everyone can be as skilled as I am), or maybe you accidentally uncovered some deep-rooted trauma or fettishization that you would prefer to leave covered up in the depths of your subconscious. Whatever the reason may be, you can’t go wrong with a good, old-fashioned cleaning session!

Look, we’re in the middle of a pandemic and we still can’t wash our hands. We might as well finally get around to cleaning ourselves and our belongings.

Journal!

The year is 2099 and a scraggly old man in a midnight suit approaches you on the L Train that takes you home from your mundane, hyper-techno office job. His breath is warm and corrosive against your face — it smells of butterscotch and burnt tar. He asks you if you lived through the Coronapocalypse. Your eyes glaze over as various memories of fecal-stained foliage due to an inexplicable lack of toilet paper infiltrate your mind. You flush them out. The man is a writer, fresh off his six recent book failures and is hungry for a seventh. He never took note of his personal experience during 2020, the Sequel to The Roarin’ Twenties that Completely Crashed and Burned, so his fate rests in your pruny hands. You reach into your weathered satchel with a shaky palm, pulling out a charred and blood-stained book — 2037 was not an easy year — containing all of your memories and most important events from the coronavirus pandemic. The man signs you on as a contributor to his novel and it reaches modest success. You earn $23.57 in royalties every two years following its publication, but in the 22nd century, that can hardly afford you a gallon of milk.

Read!

Listen up, America. We suck at reading. Look at this depressing graph!

Dear, God. And I thought the pandemic was disheartening. Let’s fix this downward trend, please. There’s an entire Washington Post article about the decline of leisure reading in the U.S. that you can read here.

If you are a #BookHater, then maybe transform the medium into something fresh! My dad recently told me of his friends who are reading a single book as a family, but each person chooses a character and they act out the scenes as they happen on the page. Doing this could cross off two things from this list at once!

Or, you could just read everything on this blog. 🙂

Board Games!

Lean how to spel with Scrabble!

. . . . .

Okay, so I struggled profoundly in my attempts to come up with literally any other board game. I decided to consult Google. This was my result and I am at a loss:

A few reflections are necessary, part 2:

1. In what universe are “Skate Or Die” and “Zaza & Sacci” classic board games. This recommendation nearly gave me a stroke.
2. Skate Or Die is indeed a film. A French film. A 92-minute French film from 2008 about teenagers Benjamin and Jerome who witness a murder and must run (skateboard?) for their lives as they are pursued by the perpetrators. It is rocking a 4/10 on IMDb, and one review complains that the skaters don’t perform enough tricks while being shot at. I’m enthralled.
3. I’ve never heard of Zaza & Sacci but, my God, nearly $2,200? That’s like the cost of hand sanitizer nowadays. Unacceptable. That game is clearly worth more than hand sanitizer. I’ll pay $3,000. Shut up and take my money.

You can lead a naval strike on your family members who judge you for going out looking like that with Battleship!

Or just play one game of Monopoly and awaken from the mind-numbing haze of that experience four months later and realize that the world has dramatically evolved. A cure has been found, the quarantine has been lifted, and wretched Monkey-Bats have spawned from the depths of hell to seize control of world governments.

Pick Up A New Hobby!

Like washing your hands and not touching your face.

Or crochet.

Watch Something!

There are plenty of fantastic television shows and movies to indulge while staying inside. Watch Parasite! Binge-watch The Office for the thirteenth time! Discover the wonders of the independent film industry! Watch Parasite! Disney+ released Frozen 2 early so as we go Into The Unknown in the following weeks, we can all lose our minds at Idina Menzel’s glorious voice. Or, try scrolling through Netflix mindlessly for an hour trying to find something to watch but falling asleep before anything catches your eye.

Spread Compassion!

If the previous week was any indication, the near-future seems bleak and challenging. This is when we need to come together rather than driving ourselves apart. Check on the people in your life, especially if they are in a high-risk demographic and/or have health conditions that could create complications with COVID-19. If you are healthy, offer to provide them with resources or assistance when you can. The only way that we will get through this crisis is if we tackle it together. Having compassion for one another seems to be disregarded when preservation becomes essential. We are stronger than the virus when we work and act together with a common goal in mind.

Flatten The Curve!

It is critical to monitor the information being received and analyze its accuracy. Don’t spread misinformation (such as the holding your breath for ten seconds trick). As we continue to identify more cases of COVID-19 in the United States, we must work to flatten the curve of the disease spread. Here is one final graph for you:

Share this graphic with anyone you can. If we flatten the curve of the disease spread over a longer period of time, it will protect us from overloading our healthcare system capacity and leaving people without medical treatment or resources.

Here is another article from the Washington Post with interactive graphics that showcase the spread of the disease utilizing different methods of control.

As we continue to look to the future of this disease, remember to do whatever you can to ensure the well-being of the population.

All right. That’s enough preaching for the day. I’m going to go watch Parasite.

Oh, My Word! If you decided to do any of the ideas on this list and have image/video documentation of it, Jacob would love to add it to the post! Leave any artistic creations or book adaptations as a comment below! 

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Contact Jacob Individually Here – jtsammonbusiness@gmail.com

Oh, My Word! is a weekly updated blog featuring fiction, poetry, drama, and essays for the world. #OhMyWordWednesday

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